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misterjez

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misterjez

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 July 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1470
  • Number of comments : 108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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misterjez's page activity

Visits<b>PureTime</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:14pm<b>Role448</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:13am<b>ghostsoul21</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:41pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:56am<b>lotr4</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:26am<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:59pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:34am<b>mrainesm</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:12pm<b>SoMystic</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 3:23pm<b>times22</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 4:39pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 1:47am<b>tboogyman</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 3:55pm<b>jake_lq91</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 3:30am<b>amazingnicole</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 5:12am<b>DawnofDark</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40am<b>iAlissa</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 4:10pm<b>Bmf2k</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:34am<b>goawayy</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 2:59pm

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misterjez's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35622) - you deserved it (8371)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65075) - you deserved it (32546)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45912) - you deserved it (12085)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75947) - you deserved it (3698)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47621) - you deserved it (3941)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68848) - you deserved it (3950)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

#20719191
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83551) - you deserved it (6886)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML

#20652174
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57265) - you deserved it (4562)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54668) - you deserved it (6843)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

#20592968
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57943) - you deserved it (10477)

On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50470) - you deserved it (10843)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43160) - you deserved it (3030)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79680) - you deserved it (8236)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12856) - you deserved it (40385)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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