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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
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Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (5576)
On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6083) - you deserved it (38854)
On 10/04/2009 at 9:47pm - work - by BadStuden (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16430) - you deserved it (40615)
On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25813) - you deserved it (2149)
On 10/02/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Zamaria - Sent from mobile version
Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41420) - you deserved it (3120)
On 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm - work - by ewewew (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15153) - you deserved it (66972)
On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59857) - you deserved it (5852)
On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10681) - you deserved it (41241)
On 06/03/2009 at 6:06am - work - by failedmusician (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54759) - you deserved it (7351)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19055) - you deserved it (68837)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43542) - you deserved it (6391)
On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13245) - you deserved it (52661)
On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43287) - you deserved it (2677)
On 05/25/2009 at 11:14am - work - by EMT_Koulianos (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML
I agree, your life sucks (69511) - you deserved it (3443)
On 05/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18112) - you deserved it (41816)
On 05/25/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by ninjawhat1337 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 17 June 2013
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