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missyedges1's favorite FMLs
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 4:03am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML
by BadStuden / 10/04/2009 at 9:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by ewewew / 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML
by zep / 06/07/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by foretwintie / 06/06/2009 at 7:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Work
Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML
by failedmusician / 06/03/2009 at 6:06am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work
Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML
by Heather / 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm / United States (North Carolina) / Holidays
by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
by dumbo / 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML
by waterproblem / 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by EMT_Koulianos / 05/25/2009 at 11:14am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML
by Anonymous / 05/25/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML
by ninjawhat1337 / 05/25/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…