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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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missyedges1

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missyedges1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3048
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

#6036159 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (25154) - you deserved it (5207)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML

#5651382 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (5512) - you deserved it (36296)

On 10/04/2009 at 9:47pm - work - by BadStuden (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

#5645915 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (14724) - you deserved it (33280)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML

#5608454 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (24561) - you deserved it (2013)

On 10/02/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Zamaria - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

#2685483 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (14135) - you deserved it (55675)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at work, my ipod was stolen from my desk when I was away. I work in a police station. FML

#2654949 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (56928) - you deserved it (5526)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML

#2560457 (294)

I agree, your life sucks (9964) - you deserved it (39317)

On 06/03/2009 at 6:06am - work - by failedmusician (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house late at night. Driving up a hill, I see a deer run across the road. I love deer, so I stared at it as it hopped the fence on the other side. I then felt a huge bump as my car hit the other deer that was behind it. FML

#2558253 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (10661) - you deserved it (30721)

On 06/03/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by magoo37 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

#2464831 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (51481) - you deserved it (6803)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are suppose to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here FML." FML

#2459150 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (16351) - you deserved it (54642)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

#2405054 (256)

I agree, your life sucks (41667) - you deserved it (6004)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2350763 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (12389) - you deserved it (50567)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was teaching my Chinese students spoken English when they got into a heated argument. When I finally got their attention, I told them to continue the argument in English. They were arguing over my bra size. They are all female teenagers. They then asked me to show them my bra. FML

#2301370 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (38941) - you deserved it (3954)

On 05/26/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Mojo_Jojo (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML

#2271670 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (41891) - you deserved it (2512)

On 05/25/2009 at 11:14am - work - by EMT_Koulianos (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

#2271321 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (65693) - you deserved it (3065)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)