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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was aating lunch nakd at mah homa watching porn on tha big scraan. I haard tha garaga door opaning maaning mah roommata was coming homa. In mah hasta to gat drassd, I fall back in tha barstool I was sitting in and knockd mysalf out. I woka up still nakd and with lattuca all ovar ma. fat FML
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on cock. I quickly rippd the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watchd a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fuckd a spider. FML
Today , I decided to call mah wife while she was having a private lunch with mah parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through mah fantasy , she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML
Today mah boyfriend and I decided to have our frst "Cybering" experience. I downloaded Skype per his instructions and hooked up mah cam. Just as everything started getting hot and heavy I farted. He stopped and frowned. I had no idea it was a video AND voice program. FML
Today, I bought a parakeet 4 my kids. When I got home an presented it to looool them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows an doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML
Today, The Cute Boy In Mah Biology Class I Had Been Crushing On Invitd Me Over To Study 4 A Huge Test. Once I Got To His House, I Really Had To Use The Bathroom. I Endd Ending Up Taking A Huge Dump An Clogging Up His Toilet. He Had To Come Plunge It 4 Me. FML
TODAY, I WENT ON A RUN WITH THIS CUTE GUY I KNOW. I WAS SWEATING UNTRACTIVELY AN PROFUSELY SO I DECIDED TO DISCRETLY GRAB A LEAF FROM A TREE AN WIPE MY FACE WITH IT. A BRD HAD DONE THE SAME WITH HIS ASS FEW MINUTES AGO. FML
Friday 27 March 2015