Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About missile : message me if u wanna talk cuz i aint got no friends...well i got some......but some of them are a holes hahaha..,.umm ilke to do crazy things but know when to stop soo i guess you can call me responsible....maybe??? ohh yea wanna know more???njust ask im an easy going guy. one more thing you (sorry :) ) you should holla at my bro Killa_Comin best friend on FML!! hahahaha :) And in real life ;)
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I was mugged while on my way to the book store. I'd saved up for months to make a mega-purchase of study materials for my major, only for it to be taken away in a few seconds by some lowlife thug. FML
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
Today, my math teacher brought his laptop to tally up all our scores for our report card. He then displayed the results on a big screen in front of the whole class. The ones who failed were marked yellow. I was the only one marked yellow. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML
Thursday 19 March 2015