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miserypoison

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miserypoison
  • Town/Country : Australia, Elliptical Galaxy
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1347
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 45 posted

About miserypoison : If you can't laugh at yourself then I will solemnly do it for you!

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miserypoison's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

#17326829
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24805) - you deserved it (4825)

On 08/01/2011 at 12:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34610) - you deserved it (9282)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized the only reason my boyfriend is dating me is because he has a pimple fetish. FML

#17304312
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35981) - you deserved it (4479)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was riding on my bike when I saw a homeless guy holding a sign saying, "Need money, stranded from Oklahoma." I decided to be nice, and hopped off my bike to give him $2. He took the money, and then jacked my bike. FML

#17236134
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28051) - you deserved it (8437)

On 07/24/2011 at 12:22am - money - by Joe thomas - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38073) - you deserved it (3446)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38073) - you deserved it (3446)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

#17193667
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (2062)

On 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm - misc - by cheddar (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

#17184971
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33946) - you deserved it (5071)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States

Today, I slipped and fell in mud while running from the car to inside to avoid getting wet in a torrential downpour. I was running from the limo, in my wedding dress, to the church for my wedding. FML

#17184775
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53240) - you deserved it (6647)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML

#17184494
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11501) - you deserved it (65680)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:07am - love - by sarahbeth93 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML

#17154480
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27241) - you deserved it (2182)

On 07/17/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by SonOfaSpy (man) - United States

Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML

#17152929
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18405) - you deserved it (6087)

On 07/17/2011 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML

#17022194
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32008) - you deserved it (2858)

On 07/08/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by chumleevil - United States (Maine)

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

#16762179
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (4815)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:14pm - health - by Me - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

#16556165
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48601) - you deserved it (3319)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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