About miserypoison : If you can't laugh at yourself then I will gladly do it for you!
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miserypoison's favorite FMLs
by melikeyturtles / 10/10/2011 at 12:13am / United States / Work
by cc / 10/10/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Montana) / Money
Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML
by Emily S / 10/09/2011 at 1:17am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML
by ab / 10/09/2011 at 1:11am / Canada (Quebec) / Work
Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML
by therevsev / 10/02/2011 at 2:05am / United States / Intimacy
by danthecomplicate / 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML
by AngrySon / 09/28/2011 at 9:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Hypocrisy / 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is getting back together with his crazy alcoholic ex-wife who frequently cheated on him. In addition to this news, I also found out that he maxed out all my credit cards. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 10:26pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Jesus / 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health
by faded as shit / 09/26/2011 at 9:10pm / United States / Love
Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML
by f_ck_U / 09/21/2011 at 2:47am / China (Zhejiang) / Work
by silent one / 09/12/2011 at 1:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to…