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miserypoison

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miserypoison
  • Town/Country : Australia, Elliptical Galaxy
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1334
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 45 posted

About miserypoison : If you can't laugh at yourself then I will solemnly do it for you!

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miserypoison's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

#19662623
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15909) - you deserved it (1574)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, it was the concert of my life. I had bought tickets the minute they went on sale, and I'd anxiously waited until the concert date. 30 minutes before the show, my friend got so drunk that we weren't allowed in, and I was stuck babysitting her all night in the hotel, completely missing the show. FML

#19566777
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24401) - you deserved it (3443)

On 05/03/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by savanna (woman) - United States

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22500) - you deserved it (4656) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, I freaked out because of the smell of rotting eggs lingering in my apartment. I soon discovered it was my boyfriend's feet. FML

#19453848
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19628) - you deserved it (2580)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:30am - love - by Kayla (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16057) - you deserved it (4696)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

#19331009
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15897) - you deserved it (4407)

On 03/23/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Not_High (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

#19315515
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20453) - you deserved it (3233)

On 03/20/2012 at 6:33pm - love - by anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

#19247748
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20527) - you deserved it (2618)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML

#19135287
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20571) - you deserved it (2785)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States (Oregon)

Today, while babysitting, one of the boys fell on an exposed pipe and broke it. It spewed water five feet into the air, spread water across four rooms, and completely soaked another of the boys. Their parents had only left fifteen minutes before. FML

#19112192
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20007) - you deserved it (2388)

On 02/19/2012 at 12:49am - kids - by CamoElla - United States

Today, I found out that the only thing worse than a psycho, overbearing, controlling girlfriend is a psycho, overbearing and controlling ex-girlfriend. FML

#19007314
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (3312)

On 02/06/2012 at 12:50am - love - by bluesox4 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML

#18942178
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (2037)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by scared for life (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at Disneyland with a friend. We were watching the light show, and when Tinkerbell came out, we both started crying. Some guy noticed and called us "fucking pussies". FML

#18862954
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8755) - you deserved it (37853)

On 01/20/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by sharky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31981) - you deserved it (13542)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a World of Warcraft commercial came on. He turned to me and said, "Yeah, I'd choose the Horde over you any day." FML

#18798244
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22351) - you deserved it (3790)

On 01/13/2012 at 6:56pm - love - by Sad.To.Be.Me. (woman) - United States (Washington)



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