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miserypoison

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miserypoison
  • Town/Country : Australia, Elliptical Galaxy
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1334
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 45 posted

About miserypoison : If you can't laugh at yourself then I will solemnly do it for you!

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miserypoison's favorite FMLs

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML

#20068483
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7790) - you deserved it (27859)

On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

Today, I started my new job at a fragrance store. While training, the manager had me smell all of the scents to become familiar with the products. Before my shift was over, I'd had three asthma attacks. FML

#20044273
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18368) - you deserved it (4695)

On 08/27/2012 at 9:33am - work - by Joe - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML

#20023182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18956) - you deserved it (1656)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

#20017935
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12650) - you deserved it (15215)

On 08/13/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by brooke - United States

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

#19986553
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4784) - you deserved it (33239)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

#19926554
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17400) - you deserved it (1926)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21383) - you deserved it (3001)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

#19884123
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31548) - you deserved it (2082)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)

Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML

#19812468
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15047) - you deserved it (3106)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States

Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML

#19763954
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8143) - you deserved it (28534)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

#19763294
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28509) - you deserved it (4641)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went on a second date with a guy I really liked, and we started chatting over dinner. That's when he told me about his paranoia, and how he's unsure if I'm out to get him or not. FML

#19747527
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18263) - you deserved it (1805)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. He asked me what had brought me there, so I said I needed to get over some issues. He told me to close my eyes and visualize myself constructing a bridge. I paid to get told to build a bridge in my mind's eye. FML

#19664202
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11426) - you deserved it (2959)

On 05/22/2012 at 7:54pm - health - by fml - Australia (New South Wales)



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