About miserypoison : Sailing to the moon, jammin, crammin, university.
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Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5541) - you deserved it (13501)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by brianfantana32 - United States (Washington)
Today, I started my new job at a fragrance store. While training, the manager had me smell all of the scents to become familiar with the products. Before my shift was over, I'd had three asthma attacks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14923) - you deserved it (3476)
On 08/27/2012 at 9:33am - work - by Joe - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49109) - you deserved it (2189)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:09am - misc - by Just_Me_88 - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18336) - you deserved it (1614)
On 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12338) - you deserved it (14879)
On 08/13/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by brooke - United States
Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4547) - you deserved it (32066)
On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16896) - you deserved it (1891)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20767) - you deserved it (2966)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26864) - you deserved it (1549)
On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)
Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14591) - you deserved it (3065)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States
Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7166) - you deserved it (21345)
On 06/10/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23552) - you deserved it (3533)
On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)
Today, I went on a second date with a guy I really liked, and we started chatting over dinner. That's when he told me about his paranoia, and how he's unsure if I'm out to get him or not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14976) - you deserved it (1356)
On 06/07/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore
Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. He asked me what had brought me there, so I said I needed to get over some issues. He told me to close my eyes and visualize myself constructing a bridge. I paid to get told to build a bridge in my mind's eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11053) - you deserved it (2929)
On 05/22/2012 at 7:54pm - health - by fml - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15441) - you deserved it (1555)
On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Monday 17 June 2013
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