miraclewhip94

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Offline (the 04/30/2015 at 9:27pm)

miraclewhip94

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 September 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 394
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About miraclewhip94 : just a simple Canadian girl

miraclewhip94's page activity

Visits<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:00am<b>lyricalservant</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 4:58am<b>FunnyDude1215</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:02am<b>Abdelhady</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 8:36pm<b>guriak</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:50pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:14am<b>XPiemaster</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 1:56am<b>bulldogs220</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 9:46am<b>four0seven</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 1:23am<b>pmnj19</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 8:22pm<b>awiseman</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 4:48pm<b>Red_Brooks</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:04pm<b>mimixia</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 6:41am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 10:49pm<b>forizidrizzi</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 5:07pm<b>AGB10</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:38pm<b>yamzie47</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 10:18am<b>lifesentence</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 9:38am

miraclewhip94's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of miraclewhip94's badges

miraclewhip94's favorite FMLs

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Thurrock) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

by thanks gramps / 04/19/2013 at 3:27am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

by stillfuckingcrying / 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm / Sweden (Kalmar Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Love

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

by dr mamour / 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm / Love

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

by longlostkid556 / 06/05/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Love