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mine_turtle

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 104
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mine_turtle's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

#19721854
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28124) - you deserved it (2233)

On 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by huh (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

#19678491
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21395) - you deserved it (1786)

On 05/25/2012 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

#19626087
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25563) - you deserved it (2365)

On 05/15/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by uni life (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

#19618137
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8159) - you deserved it (30676)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML

#19612564
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23857) - you deserved it (3023)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:48pm - animals - by aliqi (man) - United States

Today, a pigeon got into my apartment. After knocking over a very expensive vase, it panicked, rammed itself against a window, and shat all over the floor as it tried to get out. FML

#19611512
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19530) - you deserved it (1784)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:01pm - animals - by Eric Ngan - Singapore

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

#19609877
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11218) - you deserved it (58651)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

#19605689
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18860) - you deserved it (2778)

On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#19602885
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19911) - you deserved it (4582)

On 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm - misc - by Amy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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