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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
mimori_kiryu's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML
by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by holymoly / 09/05/2012 at 2:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by FastFoodWaiter / 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 03/17/2010 at 11:38am / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
Today, I tried an herbal tea that is supposed to increase your milk supply (I'm a breastfeeding mom). Well, it worked, and it kicked in at my office, but only on one side. So when I went into the bathroom, I noticed I had one boob WAY higher and bigger than the other. Great. FML
by mama75 / 03/17/2010 at 10:18am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML
by disturbed / 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML
by lockedoutbabysitter / 03/09/2010 at 12:19pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by kbeavv / 02/11/2010 at 12:09pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by creepster / 02/10/2010 at 8:39pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by mollymaykitty / 02/02/2010 at 1:38pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2010 at 3:09am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous