milagros1997

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milagros1997

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 375
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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milagros1997's page activity

Visits<b>Liamj774</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 3:07pm<b>jrshap12</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 11:12pm

milagros1997's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of milagros1997's badges

milagros1997's favorite FMLs

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

by anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 7:24am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML

by Anon / 01/04/2012 at 9:21pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

by KrissyBearr / 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2011 at 12:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

by Joe / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward / 12/06/2011 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

by pops up / 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

by InstantHardOn / 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

by HOe HOe HOe / 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

by sadsadperson / 09/07/2011 at 4:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

by macattack / 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

by macattack / 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids