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milagros1997's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
milagros1997's favorite FMLs
Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML
by beleria / 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
by pathetic / 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Geek
by hoggypig / 04/23/2012 at 9:00am / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
by gottalovefriends / 04/23/2012 at 12:04am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
by Gennifer / 04/22/2012 at 1:20am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
by fuck / 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by caaarl / 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
by caitlinz5 / 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy
by oface13 / 04/16/2012 at 4:12am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
by Ouch / 01/20/2012 at 7:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by MyHeadHurts / 01/20/2012 at 5:42am / Ireland / Intimacy
by joeshmoe / 01/15/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me… Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping… Today, I came to the realization I make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates. I've touched…