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miketopgunmike1

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miketopgunmike1
  • Town/Country : Texas, Usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 August 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 197
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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miketopgunmike1's favorite FMLs

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

#21095019
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29304) - you deserved it (18188)

On 03/24/2014 at 8:39am - misc - by pantyripper (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

#20837089
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53421) - you deserved it (4844)

On 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm - misc - by NewBride (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

#20819263
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39698) - you deserved it (5739)

On 08/03/2013 at 8:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48041) - you deserved it (6804)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

#20569678
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36138) - you deserved it (4953)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:57am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyyoufreaks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38495) - you deserved it (2838)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML

#20548521
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30617) - you deserved it (2609)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm - work - by Ihatemyjob (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to watch a movie I hadn't seen before to bring my spirits up, as I've been feeling down lately. How did the movie end? Everybody died. FML

#12344215
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20894) - you deserved it (5995)

On 08/06/2010 at 1:12am - misc - by Shouldaknown (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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