Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7242
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mijzelffan's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:42pm<b>amadeclton</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:21pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:52pm<b>BunnyRabbit411</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:20am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 11:51am<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 12:52pm<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 11:11pm<b>solidmego</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 11:08pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:32pm<b></b> - the 03/09/2011 at 11:06pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 02/13/2011 at 8:43pm<b>tukker</b> - the 11/15/2009 at 2:02pm<b>ASHLEEBAYBEEx3</b> - the 11/04/2009 at 9:40pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 09/07/2009 at 2:16pm<b>CookieJar</b> - the 07/21/2009 at 5:20pm<b>Meeeheeh</b> - the 07/19/2009 at 9:38am<b>Ajax_4ever</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 7:37am

mijzelffan's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mijzelffan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (95074) - you deserved it (15074)

On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML


I agree, your life sucks (225358) - you deserved it (12861)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (61499) - you deserved it (13187)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by fuckMYlife94321 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20484) - you deserved it (75610)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML


I agree, your life sucks (55046) - you deserved it (25823)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20415) - you deserved it (92398)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33932) - you deserved it (145464)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML


I agree, your life sucks (228857) - you deserved it (37761)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14631) - you deserved it (66417)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58435) - you deserved it (15076)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML


I agree, your life sucks (26232) - you deserved it (5134)

On 01/25/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by Michelle C - United States (California)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: