mijzelffan

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mijzelffan

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7413
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mijzelffan's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:42pm<b>amadeclton</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:21pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:52pm<b>BunnyRabbit411</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:20am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 11:51am<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 12:52pm<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 11:11pm<b>solidmego</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 11:08pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:32pm<b></b> - the 03/09/2011 at 11:06pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 02/13/2011 at 8:43pm<b>tukker</b> - the 11/15/2009 at 2:02pm<b>ASHLEEBAYBEEx3</b> - the 11/04/2009 at 9:40pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 09/07/2009 at 2:16pm<b>CookieJar</b> - the 07/21/2009 at 5:20pm<b>Meeeheeh</b> - the 07/19/2009 at 9:38am<b>Ajax_4ever</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 7:37am

mijzelffan's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mijzelffan's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a student in the class I assist having trouble with a download. I walked over and showed him how to save to his flash drive, and how to use 7z to unzip said file. I then found out I'd just assisted him in downloading a half gig of porn during class. FML

by TingBarter / 07/09/2009 at 11:00am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML

by AmberKCole / 07/08/2009 at 2:45pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

by onething / 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

by Nicole / 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML

by Anonymous / 07/07/2009 at 7:04pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I come home to find my nephew holding pieces of my new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML

by AidenFromSweden / 07/06/2009 at 2:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

by shit... / 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

by Barista / 07/05/2009 at 1:21am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML

by iloveZELOS / 07/05/2009 at 12:53am / United States / Money

Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML

by pinkrazrgirl247 / 07/03/2009 at 2:29am / United States / Love

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

by Kristache / 07/02/2009 at 4:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

by blazer / 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

by Jeweler / 06/26/2009 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I enlisted for The Navy because my Boy Scout leader encouraged me. He fought in Korea and is a real inspiration. I asked him what motivated him to join The Navy. He said he was drunk and didn't remember joining until he was called up. FML

by ArmyMan / 06/24/2009 at 12:37pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Work

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids