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mifdsam

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mifdsam

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  • Number of visits : 1296
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mifdsam's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:27pm

mifdsam's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mifdsam's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML

#4324727
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45860) - you deserved it (3190)

On 08/06/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Lawrence (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I left my brand new iPhone on the counter, and went to get its cleaning cloth. My grandmother saw a mosquito, and used my iPhone as a fly swatter. I now have a broken iPhone. Good news though: no more mosquito. FML

#4304295
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49293) - you deserved it (5217)

On 08/05/2009 at 7:04am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, I got my first speeding ticket. Looking it over, I was surprised to see that the officer listed my height accurately despite never having seen me standing. I complimented his uncanny ability and asked if it was part of police training. He then informed me that he read it on my license. FML

#4264438
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6136) - you deserved it (54766)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63222) - you deserved it (5118)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML

#4208368
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8918) - you deserved it (48839)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by anonymouschicka (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66909) - you deserved it (15317)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

#4186568
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14093) - you deserved it (64159)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ohhmydamn (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

#4097129
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47368) - you deserved it (9094)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69477) - you deserved it (4242)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML

#3949208
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37276) - you deserved it (10253)

On 07/22/2009 at 4:16am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

#3921342
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42844) - you deserved it (27790)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML

#3908348
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35042) - you deserved it (24537)

On 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)



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