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mifdsam

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mifdsam

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  • Number of visits : 1353
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mifdsam's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:27pm

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mifdsam's favorite FMLs

Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML

#16377844
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8334) - you deserved it (47801)

On 05/27/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was paired up with a partner in my film class. He has an idea for a film: "Shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill". He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML

#15076677
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27897) - you deserved it (3685)

On 02/22/2011 at 9:28am - work - by Dean Heffern -

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33179) - you deserved it (10905)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8400) - you deserved it (26263)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML

Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML

#8781188
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20144) - you deserved it (3485)

On 03/02/2010 at 8:03pm - health - by sunny_ca559 - United States

Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

#8779479
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25019) - you deserved it (2814)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by csc4lyfe09 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

#8743976
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35565) - you deserved it (2368)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

#8742333
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9911) - you deserved it (38430)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

#8706906
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9067) - you deserved it (28452)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:36am - work - by chevysprint (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I missed points on a math quiz because I thought 2 times 5 was 20. I'm a math major. FML

#8663559
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7814) - you deserved it (32805)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:57pm - misc - by mathhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24980) - you deserved it (7680)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

#8658648
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53620) - you deserved it (2782)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:23am - love - by pain (woman) - Japan

Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML

#8634808
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23197) - you deserved it (4017)

On 02/25/2010 at 6:46am - misc - by SayWhat (woman) - United States (New York)



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