mierz

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Offline (the 04/19/2016 at 10:11am)

mierz

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 557
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mierz's page activity

Visits<b>bheaze</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 8:00am<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:50pm<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 6:22am<b>meggieeeee92</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:24pm<b>infinitegrace</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 7:36am<b>shaar</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 9:20am<b>evilman776</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 4:10pm<b>kitkat1255</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 9:22am<b>almre</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 4:22pm<b>briebrianalove</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:49pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 3:04pm<b>Rocker5165</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 7:44am<b>thentaniasaid</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 1:42am<b>stargirl_95</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 2:30pm<b>ArnoD</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 7:58am<b>bullrider92</b> - the 08/24/2011 at 11:43pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/30/2011 at 4:34pm

Fucked!<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 12:22pm

mierz's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of mierz's badges

mierz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking through my boyfriend's Facebook photos, when I saw a recent comment by one of his friends asking how his night out with "Danielle" went. He replied: "Dude, keep that shit on the down-low." We've been dating for over a year. FML

by Cheating / 01/27/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, one of my dorm-mates started laughing at a bra hanging to dry in our bathroom. She thought it was hilarious that a college student would still have "such small, baby tits." It was my bra. FML

by selfesteemboost / 01/27/2012 at 12:14pm / Belize (Belize) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML

by Username / 11/25/2011 at 11:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

by metallifreak44 / 11/14/2011 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

by MissCan'tKeepAJob / 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

by Rhyno / 05/05/2009 at 11:37am / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

by liveforpeace_ / 04/28/2009 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

by blovesg / 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

by GuitarChick42 / 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy