Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mierz

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

mierz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 329
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mierz's page activity

Visits<b>infinitegrace</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 7:36am<b>shaar</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 9:20am<b>evilman776</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 4:10pm<b>kitkat1255</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 9:22am<b>almre</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 4:22pm<b>briebrianalove</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:49pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 3:04pm<b>Rocker5165</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 7:44am<b>thentaniasaid</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 1:42am<b>stargirl_95</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 2:30pm<b>ArnoD</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 7:58am<b>bullrider92</b> - the 08/24/2011 at 11:43pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/30/2011 at 4:34pm

mierz's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of mierz's badges

mierz's favorite FMLs

Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML

#20979287
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41181) - you deserved it (4218)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by reallyhighschool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80171) - you deserved it (24600)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33068) - you deserved it (2344)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30637) - you deserved it (6428)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13938) - you deserved it (24791)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML

#19635267
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20150) - you deserved it (5165)

On 05/17/2012 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47212) - you deserved it (4373)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12597) - you deserved it (29617)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

#19350596
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27722) - you deserved it (4899)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:54am - kids - by ohhdear.___. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned a valuable lesson: Make sure you learn to swim at a very young age, or else you might end up a in a swimming class with a bunch 3 and 4 year-olds, taught by your crush. FML

#19350578
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24827) - you deserved it (5867)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by stupdude3 (man) - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

#19337633
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12733) - you deserved it (32546)

On 03/24/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by SG - United States

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35040) - you deserved it (2444)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML

#19187545
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9498) - you deserved it (32658)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by areyouserious - United States

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16917) - you deserved it (43976)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told a customer that we don't do refunds. He responded by throwing his wallet at my face and accusing me of stealing it. FML

#19187266
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24764) - you deserved it (2106)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:47am - work - by wallets - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: