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michellenKG

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michellenKG
  • Town/Country : lollipops&rainbows, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 December 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 621
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 16 posted

About michellenKG : fubk

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michellenKG's favorite FMLs

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24705) - you deserved it (3018)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80458) - you deserved it (11873)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35054) - you deserved it (6530)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML

#17696779
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (2688)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm - misc - by WishIWasAWriter (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

#17497586
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22120) - you deserved it (10492)

On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

#15689695
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13506) - you deserved it (38263)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Payte -

Today, I went to the doctor's office, they did their regular check up, and found "odd red marks" on the inside of my thighs. They started to think it might be a skin disease, I had to explain to my mother and the doctor that it was a hickey from my boyfriend. FML

#13480134
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22612) - you deserved it (11783)

On 10/17/2010 at 12:37am - intimacy - by hickhick (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, Burger King gave me a moldy bun. I noticed 1/5 of the way through the sandwich. My compensation for ingesting mold? A coupon for half-off a Whopper. FML

#12847836
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22330) - you deserved it (4114)

On 09/01/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an alert from Facebook that it was my very popular and attractive classmate's birthday. I decided to be sweet and write "Happy birthday" on her wall, only to notice it wasn't there a few minutes later. I rewrote it again and it disappeared. After three attempts, I took the hint. FML

#8169866
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (3033)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:52pm - misc - by pandabear - United Kingdom (Magherafelt)

Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML

#6773256
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21294) - you deserved it (3541)

On 12/16/2009 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Unsatisfied (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28875) - you deserved it (7979)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38224) - you deserved it (3040)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML

#5269126
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30538) - you deserved it (1606)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:58am - intimacy - by Confused (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

#3241027
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41984) - you deserved it (25191)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (118400)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)



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