michellenKG

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michellenKG

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 December 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1010
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 16 posted

About michellenKG : fubk

michellenKG's page activity

Visits<b>vsinha</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 8:31am<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:29am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:09pm<b>Abbie4572</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 9:35am<b>Mortoli</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:43pm<b>Nail9797</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Raltizal</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 11:34pm<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 5:09pm<b>Ice_Cold_Llama</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 4:36pm<b>Supersid333</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 12:24pm<b>Stormcloak</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 1:10am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:38pm<b>meggieeeee92</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:59am<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 11:24pm<b>cole_tyler42</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 1:14am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:40pm<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:46am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 10:20pm

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michellenKG's favorite FMLs

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

by ThinZ / 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML

by WishIWasAWriter / 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

by Payte / 04/08/2011 at 1:31am / Love

Today, I went to the doctor's office, they did their regular check up, and found "odd red marks" on the inside of my thighs. They started to think it might be a skin disease, I had to explain to my mother and the doctor that it was a hickey from my boyfriend. FML

by hickhick / 10/17/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, Burger King gave me a moldy bun. I noticed 1/5 of the way through the sandwich. My compensation for ingesting mold? A coupon for half-off a Whopper. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2010 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an alert from Facebook that it was my very popular and attractive classmate's birthday. I decided to be sweet and write "Happy birthday" on her wall, only to notice it wasn't there a few minutes later. I rewrote it again and it disappeared. After three attempts, I took the hint. FML

by pandabear / 02/12/2010 at 2:52pm / United Kingdom (Magherafelt) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML

by Unsatisfied / 12/16/2009 at 1:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

by Icy / 10/01/2009 at 2:59am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML

by Confused / 09/15/2009 at 5:58am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

by LondonKitsch / 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

by douchetard / 03/26/2009 at 3:37am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy