My name's Michelle and I like to talk and laugh. Music, postsecrets, friends, and FML's make my day. :}
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39339) - you totally deserved it (8086)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32733) - you totally deserved it (9117) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27026) - you totally deserved it (16145) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew
On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11189) - you totally deserved it (27417)
On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that by brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of warcraft money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47215) - you totally deserved it (2317)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Singapore
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36070) - you totally deserved it (8258)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was at a party at the house of the guy I really like. We were talking when he pulled me into his room. I was excited he was finally taking our friendship to the next level, until he handed me a stick of deodorant, saying "I didn't wanna tell you in the hallway, but you really need this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29204) - you totally deserved it (11617)
On 07/12/2009 at 8:41pm - love - by Dee (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35043) - you totally deserved it (3488)
On 06/13/2009 at 7:01am - love - by Mojo_Jojo (woman) - China (Beijing)
Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14042) - you totally deserved it (45208)
On 06/12/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by Paco4242 (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death" (my dildo). FML
I agree, your life sucks (51254) - you totally deserved it (23510)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - kids - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8662) - you totally deserved it (57010)
On 04/07/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53006) - you totally deserved it (2571)
On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, was the first time my boyfriend slept over. He was hard, so I woke him up by whispering in his ear, "If you could get me to do anything right now, what would it be?" His response, "Can you get me a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream?" He was hard, for ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63702) - you totally deserved it (8531)
On 04/04/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Denmark (Roskilde)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (112707) - you totally deserved it (11735)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
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