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michaelscott69

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michaelscott69
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 801
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About michaelscott69 : My name is michael scott, aka, agent michael scarn. I have herpes, kissed a gay man, stuck my face in cement, and drove my car into a lake because a gps system told me to. I currentley have 10,000 schrute bucks in my bank account, and i slept with your sister.
~my mind is going a mile an hour

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michaelscott69's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28301) - you deserved it (2176)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40300) - you deserved it (4928)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42607) - you deserved it (4022)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

#17857316
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13098) - you deserved it (38103)

On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28287) - you deserved it (4867)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26397) - you deserved it (4070)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31519) - you deserved it (2436)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24083) - you deserved it (4189)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

#17527301
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29835) - you deserved it (2494)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by RensM (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML

#17458354
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21380) - you deserved it (3738)

On 08/13/2011 at 7:45am - love - by Username - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14779) - you deserved it (23416)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29643) - you deserved it (4066)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48858) - you deserved it (9568)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9596) - you deserved it (75397)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

#16017887
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (39736)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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