Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

michaelf461

Offline (yesterday at 4:23pm) | Search for a member

michaelf461

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 March 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1199
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About michaelf461 : Yup

michaelf461's page activity

Visits<b>Careycaryn1997</b> - yesterday at 7:35pm<b>jayyvonblood</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:15pm<b>JaimeFlores96</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:15pm<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:04am<b>gogators941</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:11am<b>Syruphs</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 6:51pm<b>Abbey1598</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 5:17pm<b>HitTheRoadJacK3</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:26am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:08am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:46am<b>vegasked</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 12:22pm<b>adrianvons</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 1:34am<b>depressed_child</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:19pm<b>chelsealou1997</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:02pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:47am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 4:30pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 12:34pm

michaelf461's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of michaelf461's badges

michaelf461's favorite FMLs

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

#21248169
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29449) - you deserved it (7100)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33731) - you deserved it (2573)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33185) - you deserved it (2680)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38985) - you deserved it (4612)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43879) - you deserved it (4217)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18773) - you deserved it (43249)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42650) - you deserved it (4146)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

#21235038
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35037) - you deserved it (4101) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/11/2014 at 3:05pm - love - by Fennec (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45814) - you deserved it (5461)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45814) - you deserved it (5461)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

#21228488
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22832) - you deserved it (44582)

On 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm - misc - by ew - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49014) - you deserved it (21198)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48170) - you deserved it (3774)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29634) - you deserved it (37897)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46700) - you deserved it (6621)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: