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Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45068) - you deserved it (15822)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico
Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38555) - you deserved it (7970)
On 05/09/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia (Makkah)
Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41485) - you deserved it (6458)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55141) - you deserved it (4751)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (44441)
On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States
Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36968) - you deserved it (9207)
Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45499) - you deserved it (9786)
On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)
Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55703) - you deserved it (2580)
On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45817) - you deserved it (2630)
On 04/27/2013 at 4:23pm - health - by stuckwithafamilyofcunts (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36288) - you deserved it (6973)
On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68744) - you deserved it (3075)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60215) - you deserved it (3913)
On 04/22/2013 at 2:58am - love - by Stupid (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35665) - you deserved it (12258)
On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was told that I don't meet the minimum requirements for a job I applied for. I currently hold the same job, at the same facility, but just wanted a day shift. Apparently I'm not qualified for the job I've had for 2 and a half years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42099) - you deserved it (2707)
On 04/21/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that taking triple the maximum dosage of painkillers won't actually triple its effects. She rolled her eyes, called me clueless, and said that I should "leave this stuff to the professionals." She's studying to become a doctor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36491) - you deserved it (4933)
On 04/21/2013 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)
Monday 20 May 2013
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