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mia2054

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mia2054

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mia2054's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

#7598826
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11664) - you deserved it (25001)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my step-sister's for family dinner. Her husband was really drunk and openly hit on me in front of most of my family. I nonchalantly ignored his advances. Later, my step-mom said it would not have happened if I didn't dress like a skank. FML

#7564709
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27377) - you deserved it (5329)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:27am - misc - by irishbabycakes (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was rejected for a job I really wanted, they said I didn't have enough experience. I designed the systems they are implementing. FML

#7158540
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33963) - you deserved it (1713)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - work - by Me - France

Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML

#7103612
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15003) - you deserved it (3671)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by uhhggggg - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83963) - you deserved it (4753)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML

#6841457
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23387) - you deserved it (3173)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by VCR (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the bus and a woman got on with her 3 young children. I offered her my seat so they could all sit together. When I went to get off the bus I realized I left my bag underneath my old seat. When I tried to get it back the woman hit me and yelled at me for trying to steal her purse. FML

#6738092
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27007) - you deserved it (2434)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:30pm - misc - by gabby (woman) - Canada

Today, I walked into my apartment to find my boyfriend of two years screwing my lifelong best friend. I immediately burst into tears. He looked at me and told me I was being too dramatic. FML

#6580116
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30760) - you deserved it (2234)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

#6570901
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37144) - you deserved it (4430)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

#6461044
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7165) - you deserved it (25808)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by Cup_of___ - United States (Virginia)

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

#6420890
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28387) - you deserved it (4327)

On 11/23/2009 at 11:40am - love - by worsethanzombies (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I applied some things I learned reading a "How to please a woman" book. My wife was in heaven until it was over, then she started crying and yelling about the only way I would learn those things is if I was having an affair. I explained but she doesn't believe me. FML

#6363732
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (2162)

On 11/19/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I drove from Seattle, WA to Vancouver, BC for the Three Days Grace concert. I was so excited when I found the building. There was a big readerboard that flashed "THREE DAYS GRACE" and I cheered. Then it flashed "CANCELLED." FML

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

#6338943
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (3894)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)

Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML

#6021745
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37614) - you deserved it (3048)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by WasFeelingGood (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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