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mia2054

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mia2054's favorite FMLs

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

#14277072
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44928) - you deserved it (3626)

On 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by morenita27 (woman) - Canada

Today, I got a text just before class that my partner didn't finish their half of our 30 page research paper because "That class is stupid". FML

#14213516
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35228) - you deserved it (3637)

On 12/15/2010 at 3:11pm - work - by sam - United States

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML

#14119620
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10837) - you deserved it (37197)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by openmouthinsertfoot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I began training my replacement at work. She's a senior citizen. She got excited when I taught her how to highlight text on the screen and double-click the mouse because she "never knew how to do those fancy tricks." The job is entirely computer-based. I have to train her for 6 weeks. FML

#13869223
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25174) - you deserved it (2299)

On 11/16/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

#13798665
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59055) - you deserved it (3417) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/11/2010 at 3:40am - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#13401139
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28647) - you deserved it (4631)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to prove how honest he is so he showed me numerous texts in his phone where he told other women he was in a relationship before asking them to sleep with him. FML

#13293908
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30247) - you deserved it (2899)

On 10/02/2010 at 8:12pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I bought a brand new 72" flatscreen TV. After getting it hooked up and working, we went out for a smoke. Hearing this crashing and smashing noise, I went inside to find out my 2 year old daughter had found a metal pole and decided to use it on the TV. FML

#13012319
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15287) - you deserved it (35588)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

#12960697
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27543) - you deserved it (2796)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:24am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

#12933577
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9780) - you deserved it (33644)

On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

#12931199
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12578) - you deserved it (49862)

On 09/06/2010 at 8:50am - intimacy - by sad-sexed (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41515) - you deserved it (4505)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my 24 year old girlfriend plugged her ears and stomped her feet while making really loud noises in our local video store. She then refused to stop until I agreed to rent and watch The Notebook with her. FML

#12352177
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37556) - you deserved it (14012)

On 08/06/2010 at 12:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the cinema with a girl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot for me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, and scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying for the unwanted guest as well. FML

#12314301
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31407) - you deserved it (4503)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:14pm - misc - by drfeelgood93 - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

#12284629
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73568) - you deserved it (4254)

On 08/03/2010 at 8:11am - love - by Broken (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi)



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