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mia2054

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mia2054

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mia2054's favorite FMLs

Today, I hired a cleaner to clean my apartment so when my in-laws visited tonight, they wouldn't think I was lazy. I got home from work, the cleaner hadn't shown at all, and my in-laws had arrived early. My mother-in-law is now mopping the floors. FML

#16824027
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12054) - you deserved it (33787)

On 06/23/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by gypsy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

#16687724
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38937) - you deserved it (3291)

On 06/16/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Ari (man) - United States (California)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34629) - you deserved it (6424)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44181) - you deserved it (3126)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

#16074104
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18321) - you deserved it (41275)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:46am - love - by littlegirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

#15959633
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36737) - you deserved it (12330)

On 04/28/2011 at 2:22am - love - by ummno (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to break down and cry because his mother hates me for unknown reasons. I walked in, gave him a long hug, and started sobbing. I then saw his mother. She was visiting him to complain about how terrible a person I am. FML

#15632605
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37024) - you deserved it (5386)

On 04/04/2011 at 5:29am - love - by terrible person -

Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML

#15306672
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35946) - you deserved it (9469)

On 03/14/2011 at 10:44am - misc - by alex - United States

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36700) - you deserved it (6539)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

#15166184
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33555) - you deserved it (2776)

On 03/01/2011 at 7:11pm - health - by stillsick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML

#15127410
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54250) - you deserved it (4713)

On 02/26/2011 at 3:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm 19 years old and, having never been on a date, I agreed to let my friend set me up. He was adorable, young, with blond hair and blue eyes...and 4 years old. My friend tricked me into babysitting. FML

#14596277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32285) - you deserved it (4175)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, it's the 3 month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML

#14585633
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25728) - you deserved it (9645)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML

#14417196
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44770) - you deserved it (3273)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my long-distance boyfriend's party. His best friend was talking to me and trying to make conversation, he asked, "So, are you two official?" I responded with a definite yes, but was cut off mid-word by my boyfriend, who quickly said, "No, not really." Sorry, I wasn't aware, darling. FML

#14329379
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28672) - you deserved it (3886)

On 12/24/2010 at 11:59pm - love - by xrebeccalou (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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