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mia2054

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mia2054

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mia2054's favorite FMLs

Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML

#17920889
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38684) - you deserved it (6143)

On 10/06/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother followed me to work to see what I got up to. I'm a fitness instructor in a ground floor gym that has big windows overlooking the street. She stood outside and waved at me for half an hour, while I tried to concentrate on teaching a visibly amused class. FML

#17836220
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21580) - you deserved it (1951)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:28am - work - by Username - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a pie auction. During it, I had to hold a pie in a glass case to be sold. In the middle of the auction, I raised my hand to scratch my face, and dropped the pie and broke the glass. It was worth $1000. FML

#17714395
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22446) - you deserved it (11804)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:18pm - money - by calebeutsler - United States (Texas)

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (2837)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27555) - you deserved it (7777)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31330) - you deserved it (5436)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19957) - you deserved it (41634)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39278) - you deserved it (4222)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was directing traffic at work during one of the hottest days of the year. Not only do I have to stand in the heat and exhaust fumes for minimum wage, I also had to endure people asking me "Aren't you hot?" as they drove past me in their air conditioned cars. FML

#17233240
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28985) - you deserved it (3216)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:01pm - work - by Sarah - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

#17215427
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36908) - you deserved it (9558)

On 07/22/2011 at 9:38am - intimacy - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48040) - you deserved it (7810)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML

#17104731
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31044) - you deserved it (2370)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria

Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML

#16954245
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41096) - you deserved it (3511)

On 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm - love - by lostbandana - United States

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51054) - you deserved it (4733)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)



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