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mia2054

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mia2054

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mia2054's favorite FMLs

Today, a man came up to me at the bus stop. He went into this long story about how his girlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back, "sounds like you should invest in condoms instead of food." He responded by beating and robbing me. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
730 comments

I agree, your life sucks (270110) - you deserved it (143865)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

#1964368
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36151) - you deserved it (4244)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by dammitall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom asked if I wanted to come to dinner with my parents and my grandparents who are in from London. When we got to the restaurant, there was a wait. My mom made me walk home because they could get a table quicker for a group of four than a group of five. FML

#1792856
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61983) - you deserved it (2514)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:48pm - misc - by charlie (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

#1770571
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20823) - you deserved it (45461)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was talking with this cute guy. I mentioned the fact that I'm single. His response, "It'd be awkward, but we can still fuck." FML

Today, my boyfriend was wearing a new shirt he had bought over the weekend. It was really cute and I always borrow his shirts so I asked to borrow his new one. He replied with, "Okay but please don't stretch this one." FML

#1387702
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46216) - you deserved it (16577)

On 04/27/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67198) - you deserved it (4721)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML

#620821
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123265) - you deserved it (9257)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

#598491
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73184) - you deserved it (5543)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML

#533969
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62138) - you deserved it (11727)

On 03/22/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by Laceylace (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was having sex at her senior's home. I don't know what's worse, watching an hour-long documentary on this, or the fact that these women are having way more sex than I am. FML

#459732
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82304) - you deserved it (9477)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:46am - intimacy - by notenoughsex (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136705) - you deserved it (36827)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one smallest penis I have ever seen." FML

#273753
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67851) - you deserved it (8574)

On 03/11/2009 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (New York)



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