"Who are you to judge the life I live
I know I'm not perfect and I don't claim to be,
But before you start pointing fingers,
make sure your own hands are clean." - Bob Marley.
Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12338) - you totally deserved it (2668)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my crush went on webcam on MSN. He looked really adorable, so I took about 6 screen shots and copied them into paint. I accidentally took a screenshot of my screen with all the pictures on paint and copied it into the conversation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3181) - you totally deserved it (20343)
On 01/25/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by 420dits (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3993) - you totally deserved it (46826)
On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18490) - you totally deserved it (5318)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by coinoperatedgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was trying to show my boyfriend how to shake my iPod to shuffle songs. When I went to shake it, it flew out of my hand and hit him in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4758) - you totally deserved it (13049)
On 01/10/2010 at 2:59am - misc - by crappygirlfriend (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22119) - you totally deserved it (3086)
On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16360) - you totally deserved it (7700)
On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27738) - you totally deserved it (959)
On 12/08/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31782) - you totally deserved it (1909)
On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went on a date and it was going great. When we got our meals, he told me I had to try what he was having, and he fed me a bite. I said something like "oh that was cute" and he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15562) - you totally deserved it (1908)
On 11/23/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by OpenWide (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2674) - you totally deserved it (25446)
On 10/31/2009 at 10:30am - health - by alcoholic (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)
Today, while meeting guys from my dad's work, they told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21609) - you totally deserved it (3905)
On 10/16/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by SheWentCrayola (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45189) - you totally deserved it (5087)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32535) - you totally deserved it (2661)
On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35464) - you totally deserved it (2285)
On 09/27/2009 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
