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mfayem

Offline (the 07/20/2014 at 9:37pm) | Search for a member

mfayem

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 691
  • Number of comments : 123
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About mfayem : searching

mfayem's page activity

Visits<b>Harpy</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:06am<b>PsychoticAsylum</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 11:25pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 4:49am<b>NinjaDitto623</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 10:24pm<b>katiecakes13</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:03am<b>lawnchair44</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 2:06am<b>guitardedmetal</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 2:50pm<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 1:20pm<b>CorruptAngel920</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 9:09am<b>tessell</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 3:31am<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 3:10am<b>sulitak</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 12:58am<b>max367</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 1:34am<b>AssTard</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 3:32pm<b>TheDuckie14</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 12:55am<b>RainbowDashie140</b> - the 10/25/2012 at 8:41pm<b>robert76</b> - the 05/23/2012 at 3:53pm<b>Lorysa</b> - the 05/06/2012 at 3:49am

mfayem's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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mfayem's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

#20908563
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42418) - you deserved it (7757)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56131) - you deserved it (9167)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49398) - you deserved it (3941)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50284) - you deserved it (6787)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38173) - you deserved it (15031)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27881) - you deserved it (49751)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52336) - you deserved it (9084)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

#20521590
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44505) - you deserved it (7266)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my sister that boys are stronger than girls. She responded by beating the living crap out of me to prove me wrong. She's twelve. I'm eighteen. FML

#20496678
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11297) - you deserved it (55318)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by manhandled by a little girl (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45371) - you deserved it (5931) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25573) - you deserved it (12325)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32971) - you deserved it (3603)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35958) - you deserved it (3456)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

#20403366
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27746) - you deserved it (6066)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:37am - kids - by unknown - Canada

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33715) - you deserved it (9123)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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