mfayem

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Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 9:18pm)

mfayem

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 January 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1312
  • Number of comments : 123
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About mfayem : searching

mfayem's page activity

Visits<b>minimanion</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 2:36pm<b>angelnursery</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 1:17am<b>allred1997</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:22am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 8:12pm<b>lostmongoose</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 9:56pm<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 9:50am<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:52pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 2:36pm<b>bryanjamieluke</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:45am<b>Harpy</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:06am<b>PsychoticAsylum</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 11:25pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 4:49am<b>NinjaDitto623</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 10:24pm<b>katiecakes13</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:03am<b>lawnchair44</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 2:06am<b>guitardedmetal</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 2:50pm<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 1:20pm<b>CorruptAngel920</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 9:09am

Fucked!<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 3:50pm

mfayem's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of mfayem's badges

mfayem's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

by ugh Buck! / 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Animals

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

by mykhael / 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm / United States (Louisiana) / Animals

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Health

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

by awkwardturtle / 01/25/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

by spellbound / 12/19/2012 at 9:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

by wtf / 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Health

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

by unknown / 12/17/2012 at 6:37am / Canada / Kids

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Love

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love