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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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metroid3802

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metroid3802
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 190
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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metroid3802's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (25780) - you deserved it (1565)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (11226) - you deserved it (3845)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

#7711889 (311)

I agree, your life sucks (10819) - you deserved it (55550)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

#7447854 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (7254) - you deserved it (11551)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sportyhusband (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my father asked me to never contact him again. The reason? His "new" family doesn't know I exist and explaining that he has a 28 year old daughter to his wife and his other children would be "awkward". I have siblings that I will never meet. FML

#7395726 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (32626) - you deserved it (1381)

On 01/17/2010 at 9:41am - misc - by forgottendaughter (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I had a mental breakdown after going through severe depression for several years. I told my boyfriend that everybody thinks I'm useless, to which he replied, "No you're not. You cook me good dinners." FML

#6850424 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (18459) - you deserved it (5127)

On 12/20/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Suicidal (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

#6842155 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (33232) - you deserved it (2715)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

#6781373 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (31146) - you deserved it (1344)

On 12/16/2009 at 6:55pm - love - by cheezmaster (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML

#6298620 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (31166) - you deserved it (1746)

On 11/14/2009 at 7:59am - love - by Indoraptor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years old. I'm 25. FML

#5966282 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (8601)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by lloydLO (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and ipod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML

#5958359 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (36332) - you deserved it (1785)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by abdominates (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (8654) - you deserved it (31540)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML

#5843241 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (20895) - you deserved it (2041)

On 10/15/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by artiemilano (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (60681) - you deserved it (3856)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (96396) - you deserved it (3837)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)