Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

metheonlyb

Search for a member

metheonlyb
  • Town/Country : Mysore, India
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 November 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 14993
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About metheonlyb : My life is pretty much an FML. But if you want to know more Kik me @ metheonlyb

metheonlyb's last visitors

HairyPunishernite66SandpitNinjaVanshikaphkhan321BirdieCurlsluxlariusLickitungJr

metheonlyb's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of metheonlyb's badges

metheonlyb's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

#2907219
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68406) - you deserved it (13012)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113672) - you deserved it (71758)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML

#2147248
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18317) - you deserved it (66672)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125970) - you deserved it (11792)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

#1706797
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69088) - you deserved it (7814)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54753) - you deserved it (19119)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (247834) - you deserved it (14289)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

#1244870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21982) - you deserved it (71483)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML

#740142
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24388) - you deserved it (53934)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91371) - you deserved it (28437)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: