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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 November 1988 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16962
  • Number of comments : 201
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About metheonlyb : My life is pretty much an FML. But if you want to know more just send me a message. And girls, if you check my profile out, be assured that I will come and check yours too. Just out of curiosity. :P

metheonlyb's page activity

Visits<b>magicdust95</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 10:10pm<b>NisaSayshi</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 9:29pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 12:02am<b>2simz</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 3:22pm<b>tikatica</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 11:05am<b>ceciliebossow</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 9:10am<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 5:42am<b>swenny_xoxo</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 11:28pm<b>TenebrionHZ</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 4:10pm<b>madissin</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 10:01am<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 11:12pm<b>PopBlox</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:41pm<b>Sansational_</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 6:21pm<b>mancuneanway</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 4:02pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 6:00am<b>racerboy102</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 5:55pm<b>Graham_Cracker</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 7:09am<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:55am

Fucked!<b>magicdust95</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 4:10am<b>NisaSayshi</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 3:30am<b>madissin</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:01pm<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 5:12am<b>swenny_xoxo</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:06pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:56pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 5:15pm

metheonlyb's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of metheonlyb's badges

metheonlyb's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML

by Nutty / 06/24/2009 at 1:10am / United States (New Hampshire) / Transportation

Today, my car was impounded because I never registered it in California after moving here. In order to get it back, I need to register it. In order to register it, I need to pass a CA smog check. In order to pass the smog check, I need my car. FML

by nicklesg / 06/23/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was at a gas station and I went to the bathroom. Thinking some was already in the bathroom, I waited for ten minutes while people lined up behind me only to find out that it was empty. FML

by cmac1229 / 06/23/2009 at 6:52pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the grocery store getting bananas and there was this real hot guy next to me. He said, "Hey beautiful" so I smiled. He then asked if I was free on Friday night. I smiled and said, "Yes, why do you ask?" He looked up from the bananas and pointed to the bluetooth in his ear. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

by apparentlyugly / 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm / United States / Love

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2009 at 7:23am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML

by unemployed / 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

by Oblivious / 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm / Kuwait / Love

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

by fmal / 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

by rejected / 04/23/2009 at 12:20am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy