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metheonlyb

Offline (the 10/20/2014 at 4:49am) | Search for a member

metheonlyb

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 November 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15696
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About metheonlyb : My life is pretty much an FML. But if you want to know more Kik me @ metheonlyb. And girls, if you check my profile out, be assured that I will come and check yours too. Just out of curiosity. :P

metheonlyb's page activity

Visits<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 1:52am<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 9:04pm<b>shesalynx</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:23am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 4:46pm<b>Ley135</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 1:49pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:51pm<b>garage</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 3:15pm<b>akachikibaba</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 12:14pm<b>JustJumped</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 6:37pm<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:10am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 12:38pm<b>Dabeli</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:15pm<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:27pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 12:00pm<b>helloyesno</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 11:39pm<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:06am<b>tartar18</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:45am<b>rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:03pm

metheonlyb's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of metheonlyb's badges

metheonlyb's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57628) - you deserved it (7209)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40263) - you deserved it (6114)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44795) - you deserved it (25527)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46768) - you deserved it (12186)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47152) - you deserved it (4775)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

#21159616
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48864) - you deserved it (5165)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by anikah (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

#21149341
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40731) - you deserved it (4147)

On 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm - kids - by todaddy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML

#6153235
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43724) - you deserved it (7402)

On 11/04/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I drove 3 hours to go to an award ceremony. When I got there, I had to wait an hour for the hall to open, then sat listening to speeches for two hours, got my "award", and drove 3 hours home. The award was a small pin that I already had. FML

#5988986
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26028) - you deserved it (4231)

On 10/25/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by HoShiz (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38024) - you deserved it (15339)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11867) - you deserved it (71076)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

#5102101
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52226) - you deserved it (7893)

On 09/07/2009 at 9:32am - love - by GasAttack (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

#5050946
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14846) - you deserved it (44499)

On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

#5033555
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14310) - you deserved it (41998)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)



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