mendini

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Offline (the 08/20/2016 at 12:16am)

mendini

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 October 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2762
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mendini : I'll fill this out eventually

mendini's page activity

Visits<b>Skycop_S</b> - 21 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 8:16am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 7:38am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 1:55am<b>Maloonatic</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 7:22pm<b>Comicath</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 4:45pm<b>apeshit94</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 2:23pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 2:12pm<b>NateshN</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 3:17pm<b>empbob</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 11:25pm<b>emirie</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 1:11pm<b>Schaus</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 6:16pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 2:06am<b>His_Holiness</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 12:31pm<b>Mirailecious</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 3:51pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 5:12pm<b>HKCgrimmjow</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 2:14am<b>McNikk</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 12:12pm

Fucked!<b>Skycop_S</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 7:35am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 7:54am<b>Maloonatic</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 1:22am<b>Comicath</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 10:45pm

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mendini's favorite FMLs

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

by Flora / 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

by LoLWut?? nd Why?? / 04/16/2013 at 12:01am / United States / Money

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 6:23am / Canada / Work

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

by badparent / 04/08/2013 at 12:26am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god / 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm / Singapore / Health

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

by haku4u / 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML

by Hooker / 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

by apparentlytoougly / 03/27/2013 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Work

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML

by Soph / 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

by PrayingForMoney / 03/25/2013 at 4:48am / United States (California) / Money