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mendini's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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mendini's favorite FMLs
Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML
by Kewl_Kat / 07/24/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML
by AylaMarie92 / 07/21/2014 at 5:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by iphonerevolution / 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm / South Africa / Kids
Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML
by AJL / 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm / United States / Transportation
Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML
by pissed off / 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
by BaWanda / 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (California) / Kids
by beccadabeast / 06/30/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
by Charitable / 06/30/2014 at 1:02am / United States (California) / Money
by Unknown / 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/28/2014 at 8:09pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML
by 404: sense not found / 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
by yepintheladiesroom / 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML
by FMyBrain / 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Health
Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML
by confusing / 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm / Zimbabwe / Work