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melody309

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melody309

11Fucked!

melody309melody309
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3979
  • Number of comments : 151
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi! I'm just a college student trying to find her way in the world without drowning in debt. My favorite things in the world are baking, music, All Time Low, psychology, my cat, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I like to dance around my room like I'm 14 and pretend my hair brush is a microphone, and I'm not ashamed.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>emmy165</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:21pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 5:55pm<b>stieglar</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 8:06pm<b>zjay</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:15pm<b>apcsox</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:28pm<b>columbusthecat</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:55pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:06am<b>jewstooge</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 11:38pm<b>taylorwray13</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 12:12am<b>melanielovejeff</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:09pm<b>Carmona04</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:10am<b>Jord_Fox</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 5:02am<b>Kamorka</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 2:25am<b>bdsmslave</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 6:09am<b>Xx_ISeeStara_xD</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:35pm<b>Cads1</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:23pm<b>Whaleyfish</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:30am<b>MechanicKayla</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:02pm

Fucked!<b>columbusthecat</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:22am<b>bdsmslave</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Xx_ISeeStara_xD</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:06am<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:35pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:42am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 4:18am<b>hahahehehe</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:53pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:29am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:29am

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melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

#21145558
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46020) - you deserved it (5311)

On 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm - kids - by Baby eater - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42286) - you deserved it (15818)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47190) - you deserved it (6133)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64087) - you deserved it (8115)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was driving my grandpa to the store because his car is in the shop. I was well within the speed limit, but he kept yelling at me for "speeding", then accused me of trying to give him a heart attack, and eventually pulled the e-brake, getting us rear-ended. He refuses to apologise. FML

#21129670
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45548) - you deserved it (3566)

On 05/03/2014 at 2:15pm - work - by kezbabes - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63569) - you deserved it (5851)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

#21107872
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50765) - you deserved it (11467)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML

#21106771
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37266) - you deserved it (12078)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20287) - you deserved it (45029)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

#21102110
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44329) - you deserved it (5402)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47513) - you deserved it (8845)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)



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