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melody309

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melody309

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1683
  • Number of comments : 121
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi, I like cupcakes, and sometimes the FML community scares me too much to comment on anything.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>andy594328</b> - yesterday at 7:17pm<b>redheadedmonster</b> - yesterday at 6:46pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 7:42am<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 6:07am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 1:39pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:29pm<b>jcast0627</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 8:05pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 8:21pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:53pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 2:29pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 10:15am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:32am<b>meanmuffin</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 3:59pm<b>Kamon97</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:26am<b>killthedead</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 8:40pm<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 7:36am<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 3:03pm

melody309's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of melody309's badges

melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

#20981261
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40877) - you deserved it (2727)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by happy birthday to me (woman) - United States

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

#20961862
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37250) - you deserved it (3246)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14am - kids - by kids next door - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

#20961774
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32355) - you deserved it (3542)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by kb (woman) - United States

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40647) - you deserved it (2731)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51155) - you deserved it (5311)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45053) - you deserved it (4110)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42465) - you deserved it (7625)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37203) - you deserved it (3284)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37245) - you deserved it (10605)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41807) - you deserved it (8779)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my 19-year-old, long-distance boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to text me all day because it's too hard to type while in his Spider-Man suit. It's non-negotiable. FML

#20940116
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35556) - you deserved it (13883)

On 10/31/2013 at 10:30am - love - by AML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39579) - you deserved it (3091)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45122) - you deserved it (4775)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45122) - you deserved it (4775)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31532) - you deserved it (10619)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)



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