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melody309

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melody309

11Fucked!

melody309melody309
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3935
  • Number of comments : 151
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi! I'm just a college student trying to find her way in the world without drowning in debt. My favorite things in the world are baking, music, All Time Low, psychology, my cat, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I like to dance around my room like I'm 14 and pretend my hair brush is a microphone, and I'm not ashamed.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>emmy165</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:21pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 5:55pm<b>stieglar</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 8:06pm<b>zjay</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:15pm<b>apcsox</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:28pm<b>columbusthecat</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:55pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:06am<b>jewstooge</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 11:38pm<b>taylorwray13</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 12:12am<b>melanielovejeff</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:09pm<b>Carmona04</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:10am<b>Jord_Fox</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 5:02am<b>Kamorka</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 2:25am<b>bdsmslave</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 6:09am<b>Xx_ISeeStara_xD</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:35pm<b>Cads1</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:23pm<b>Whaleyfish</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:30am<b>MechanicKayla</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:02pm

Fucked!<b>columbusthecat</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:22am<b>bdsmslave</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Xx_ISeeStara_xD</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:06am<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:35pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:42am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 4:18am<b>hahahehehe</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:53pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:29am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:29am

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melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (2941)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

#21256123
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (3000)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:49am - work - by PerfectVision (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

#21254463
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40584) - you deserved it (3715)

On 09/08/2014 at 1:56pm - health - by jkim - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45479) - you deserved it (5931)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48407) - you deserved it (4003)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37508) - you deserved it (5020)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

#21246787
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39304) - you deserved it (3375)

On 08/27/2014 at 10:33pm - kids - by That idiot - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (45586)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, on Facebook, all these parents posted photos of their child's last first day of high school, saying they were so proud as they left for senior year. It was my first day of senior year today, but my parents just gave me a high-five for not doing drugs. FML

#21240784
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37245) - you deserved it (7747)

On 08/19/2014 at 12:11am - kids - by morgie96 - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43531) - you deserved it (27791)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22415) - you deserved it (36708)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

#21233096
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36150) - you deserved it (3103)

On 08/09/2014 at 4:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Malawi

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

#21230823
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42176) - you deserved it (3696)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my elderly mother explained that, "I don't need my glasses to drive, I just need them to see." FML

#21228755
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35337) - you deserved it (2513)

On 08/03/2014 at 8:47pm - misc - by scared - Canada



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