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melody309

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melody309

1Liked!

melody309melody309
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2568
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi! I'm just a college student trying to find her way in the world without drowning in debt. My favorite things in the world are baking, music, All Time Low, psychology, my cat, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I like to dance around my room like I'm 14 and pretend my hair brush is a microphone, and I'm not ashamed.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>SyLord</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:33am<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 6:48pm<b>Raath00</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:01am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:04am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 12:42am<b>lungjiao</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 1:25am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:00am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:41pm<b>2lovelygirls</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:57pm<b>bigjake</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 1:03am<b>Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 6:12am<b>hordriss</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:28am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 1:48am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:29pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:46am<b>vordhosbn</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 12:58pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 12:37pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:17pm

Liked!<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:29am

melody309's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of melody309's badges

melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, my elderly mother explained that, "I don't need my glasses to drive, I just need them to see." FML

#21228755
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35231) - you deserved it (2509)

On 08/03/2014 at 8:47pm - misc - by scared - Canada

Today, I had to explain to my father why it isn't a good idea to shove a metal knife into the toaster when trying to get at a small piece of toast. This man is 45-years-old and has a PhD. FML

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40579) - you deserved it (14500)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40133) - you deserved it (4527)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52639) - you deserved it (7168)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48182) - you deserved it (8517)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52250) - you deserved it (16877)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my friend excitedly told me about the number of guys who are romantically interested in her. I realized how pathetic my life is when all I could talk about in turn was the number of coupons I got to use today at the store. FML

#21186709
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40838) - you deserved it (5024)

On 06/24/2014 at 2:38pm - love - by doubleCoupon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40322) - you deserved it (4862)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52487) - you deserved it (4612)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44069) - you deserved it (9929)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47616) - you deserved it (28481)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend and I got into an argument while she was in the bathroom. I told her I was leaving her because she's too needy. She came out of the bathroom and threw her used tampon at me. FML

#21151109
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46089) - you deserved it (32805)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:50am - love - by HomicidalPegasus (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

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