melody309

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Offline (the 02/29/2016 at 3:33am)

melody309

22Fucked!

melody309
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5880
  • Number of comments : 158
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi! I'm just a college student trying to find her way in the world without drowning in debt. My favorite things in the world are baking, Harry Potter, Pokémon, music, All Time Low, psychology, my cat, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I like to dance around my room like I'm 14 and pretend my hair brush is a microphone, and I'm not ashamed.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>no0ne0890</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 3:11pm<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:04pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 7:18am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:07am<b>kelsclaire</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 6:31pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 6:38am<b>Quiggles789</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 10:07pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 3:52pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:50pm<b>lostfaithinpppl</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:05pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 2:58pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 2:23pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 3:20pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 7:33am<b>Seashells77</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 4:05am<b>bellabow</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 12:35am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 7:45pm<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:30pm

Fucked!<b>no0ne0890</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 9:12pm<b>Quiggles789</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 4:07am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 8:50pm<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 7:30pm<b>MasterTron</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 1:43am<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 2:46pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:08am<b>chuchusheep</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:20pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 2:09pm<b>fiftycarrots</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 5:04am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 7:41pm<b>columbusthecat</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:22am<b>bdsmslave</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Xx_ISeeStara_xD</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:06am<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:35pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:42am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 4:18am<b>hahahehehe</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:31pm

melody309's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of melody309's badges

melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

by anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got fired, apparently for being racist to black people. When I told my boyfriend, he couldn't stop laughing. He's black. FML

by Razz / 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4am; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML

by 4am blues / 07/13/2015 at 12:39am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, while reading my girlfriends kids a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

by BrittUnicorn / 07/06/2015 at 11:14am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2015 at 12:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left my dog in my car for 5 minutes while I ran into a store. The car was running so he was fine, the thing that wasn't so fine is that when I walked out my car wasn't there. My dog somehow moved my car into the middle of a intersection, almost causing an accident. FML

by ej6901 / 06/23/2015 at 4:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I took my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said "Never take a shit in this place! Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

by justin bieber's nutsack / 06/06/2015 at 3:32am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2015 at 4:36pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

by DENTALITY / 05/23/2015 at 7:06am / Norway / Kids

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

by Suicidal_Divide / 05/06/2015 at 3:25pm / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

by bleue / 04/23/2015 at 8:27am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2015 at 11:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous