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melody309

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melody309

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melody309melody309
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3200
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi! I'm just a college student trying to find her way in the world without drowning in debt. My favorite things in the world are baking, music, All Time Low, psychology, my cat, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I like to dance around my room like I'm 14 and pretend my hair brush is a microphone, and I'm not ashamed.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:41am<b>mellajella</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:30pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 1:45am<b>baldiesmom</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:00am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:57pm<b>hahahehehe</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:51am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 4:13am<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:18pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 4:15am<b>Aky0n</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:16pm<b>stephanyovalle</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:16pm<b>Jewish_lesbian</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:52pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:27am<b>Mightytall</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 12:01pm<b>SyLord</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:33am<b>Raath00</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:01am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:04am

Liked!<b>hahahehehe</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:53pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:29am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:29am

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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

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melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28572) - you deserved it (5099)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34545) - you deserved it (4413)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, and for the past few days, there is a musical box stuck somewhere in my attic that randomly plays Christmas songs. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28459) - you deserved it (3343)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

#21293397
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35097) - you deserved it (2464)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by CatLover (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38529) - you deserved it (10846)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30336) - you deserved it (4785)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38490) - you deserved it (5028)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33310) - you deserved it (3934)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42503) - you deserved it (11633)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41119) - you deserved it (3972)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38354) - you deserved it (3348)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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