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melody309

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

melody309

11Fucked!

melody309melody309
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3671
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi! I'm just a college student trying to find her way in the world without drowning in debt. My favorite things in the world are baking, music, All Time Low, psychology, my cat, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I like to dance around my room like I'm 14 and pretend my hair brush is a microphone, and I'm not ashamed.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>columbusthecat</b> - yesterday at 11:22pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 2:25am<b>bdsmslave</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 6:09am<b>Xx_ISeeStara_xD</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:35pm<b>Cads1</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:23pm<b>Whaleyfish</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:30am<b>MechanicKayla</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:02pm<b>CheyMiichelle</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:52am<b>Metashock</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:07pm<b>stieglar</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:38am<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:35pm<b>BoundBySpace</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:27pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 7:12pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 2:16am<b>drummerboy25</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:48pm<b>rachh6421</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 4:45pm<b>ilikewafles</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:22pm<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 11:42am

Fucked!<b>columbusthecat</b> - yesterday at 5:22am<b>bdsmslave</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Xx_ISeeStara_xD</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:06am<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:35pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:42am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 4:18am<b>hahahehehe</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:53pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:29am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:29am

melody309's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of melody309's badges

melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

#21321099
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32905) - you deserved it (3055)

On 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm - money - by financially_wreckd (man) -

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31790) - you deserved it (2848)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, a student's mother sent me an e-mail complaining that I was requiring her child to read a book containing mild profanity. She then demanded me to let him read an easier book. This would've been somewhat acceptable if the student wasn't in the 12th grade. FML

#21318762
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32916) - you deserved it (2416)

On 12/16/2014 at 9:11pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35189) - you deserved it (6746)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

#21316127
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28224) - you deserved it (4114)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:17am - love - by galladore - United States (Illinois)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27493) - you deserved it (3219)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28614) - you deserved it (5103)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34471) - you deserved it (4431)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, and for the past few days, there is a musical box stuck somewhere in my attic that randomly plays Christmas songs. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (3349)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

#21293397
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36302) - you deserved it (2584)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by CatLover (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41242) - you deserved it (12389)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32305) - you deserved it (5296)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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