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melody309

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melody309

5Liked!

melody309melody309
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3204
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi! I'm just a college student trying to find her way in the world without drowning in debt. My favorite things in the world are baking, music, All Time Low, psychology, my cat, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I like to dance around my room like I'm 14 and pretend my hair brush is a microphone, and I'm not ashamed.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:41am<b>mellajella</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:30pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 1:45am<b>baldiesmom</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:00am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:57pm<b>hahahehehe</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:51am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 4:13am<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:18pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 4:15am<b>Aky0n</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:16pm<b>stephanyovalle</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:16pm<b>Jewish_lesbian</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:52pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:27am<b>Mightytall</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 12:01pm<b>SyLord</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:33am<b>Raath00</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:01am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:04am

Liked!<b>hahahehehe</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:53pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:29am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:29am

melody309's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of melody309's badges

melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

#21346049
95 comments

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38240) - you deserved it (6721)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26617) - you deserved it (3213)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)

Today, I tripped over a "wet floor" sign at work and hit the floor hard. The floor wasn't even wet. FML

#21336915
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28358) - you deserved it (4368)

On 01/14/2015 at 10:35am - work - by kronic1990 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, my boyfriend finally played the new guitar I bought to replace the one he broke. He used a $1000 guitar to play me a moving song about my butt. FML

#21328639
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24003) - you deserved it (4671)

On 01/01/2015 at 1:16pm - love - by ButtWorthSingingBout (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

#21321099
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31611) - you deserved it (2742)

On 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm - money - by financially_wreckd (man) -

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31754) - you deserved it (2846)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, a student's mother sent me an e-mail complaining that I was requiring her child to read a book containing mild profanity. She then demanded me to let him read an easier book. This would've been somewhat acceptable if the student wasn't in the 12th grade. FML

#21318762
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32874) - you deserved it (2416)

On 12/16/2014 at 9:11pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35130) - you deserved it (6742)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

#21316127
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28193) - you deserved it (4107)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:17am - love - by galladore - United States (Illinois)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27437) - you deserved it (3215)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)



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