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melody309

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melody309

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melody309melody309
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3187
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi! I'm just a college student trying to find her way in the world without drowning in debt. My favorite things in the world are baking, music, All Time Low, psychology, my cat, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I like to dance around my room like I'm 14 and pretend my hair brush is a microphone, and I'm not ashamed.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:41am<b>mellajella</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:30pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 1:45am<b>baldiesmom</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:00am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:57pm<b>hahahehehe</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:51am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 4:13am<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:18pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 4:15am<b>Aky0n</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:16pm<b>stephanyovalle</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:16pm<b>Jewish_lesbian</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:52pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:27am<b>Mightytall</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 12:01pm<b>SyLord</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:33am<b>Raath00</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:01am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:04am

Liked!<b>hahahehehe</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:53pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:29am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:29am

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You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

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melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (2266)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21164) - you deserved it (2090)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21164) - you deserved it (2090)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my maths class and I had to sit through a slideshow of photos of our teacher's cat. The cat's name is Mr Cat. FML

#21376941
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27151) - you deserved it (3464)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

#21372435
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26343) - you deserved it (7788)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:55am - kids - by birdisnottheword (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

#21364157
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30061) - you deserved it (2471)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31783) - you deserved it (4520)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33791) - you deserved it (7946)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35677) - you deserved it (3401)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18730) - you deserved it (35535)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

#21354177
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29166) - you deserved it (9737)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:00pm - misc - by assholedad (man) - United States

Today, I was in charge of taking a delivery of new office chairs for the meeting room at work. The delivery men took the old chairs, but left without delivering the new ones. I can't get in contact with them, and we have a big meeting first thing tomorrow. FML

Today, a booklet came in the mail, addressed to me and titled "How To Train Your Wife". I didn't order it but my wife doesn't believe me. FML

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

#21346049
95 comments


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