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melody309

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melody309

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melody309melody309
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2940
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi! I'm just a college student trying to find her way in the world without drowning in debt. My favorite things in the world are baking, music, All Time Low, psychology, my cat, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I like to dance around my room like I'm 14 and pretend my hair brush is a microphone, and I'm not ashamed.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>Monday_funday</b> - 15 hours ago<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:18pm<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 1:52pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 4:15am<b>Aky0n</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:16pm<b>stephanyovalle</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:16pm<b>Jewish_lesbian</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:52pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:27am<b>Mightytall</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 12:01pm<b>SyLord</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:33am<b>Raath00</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:01am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:04am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 12:42am<b>lungjiao</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 1:25am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:00am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:41pm<b>2lovelygirls</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:57pm<b>bigjake</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 1:03am

Liked!<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - yesterday at 7:53pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:29am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:29am

melody309's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of melody309's badges

melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

#21364157
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29078) - you deserved it (2443)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (4506)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33410) - you deserved it (7919)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35456) - you deserved it (3392)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18678) - you deserved it (35458)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

#21354177
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28790) - you deserved it (9377)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:00pm - misc - by assholedad (man) - United States

Today, I was in charge of taking a delivery of new office chairs for the meeting room at work. The delivery men took the old chairs, but left without delivering the new ones. I can't get in contact with them, and we have a big meeting first thing tomorrow. FML

Today, a booklet came in the mail, addressed to me and titled "How To Train Your Wife". I didn't order it but my wife doesn't believe me. FML

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

#21346049
95 comments

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38151) - you deserved it (6710)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26525) - you deserved it (3210)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)

Today, I tripped over a "wet floor" sign at work and hit the floor hard. The floor wasn't even wet. FML

#21336915
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27433) - you deserved it (4055)

On 01/14/2015 at 10:35am - work - by kronic1990 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML



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