melikesfml

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melikesfml

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1049
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About melikesfml : Message me i suppose errybody

melikesfml's page activity

Visits<b>DiosdePollos</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 4:43pm<b>maryic4ever</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 11:01pm<b>StevoKing666</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 12:24pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 12:51pm<b>Starfire22</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 10:05pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 8:08am<b>2ndtemplar</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 9:36am<b>Alvarortor</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:40pm<b>ActionFearo</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 4:57am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 10:12am<b>Candycake</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 2:28pm<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 7:10pm<b>chudun</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 2:46pm<b>jasmine2301</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 12:05am<b>Dodopy</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 9:41pm<b>ndomer</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 12:36pm<b>obeyelisia</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 8:49pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 9:54pm

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melikesfml's favorite FMLs

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

by walker / 07/06/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

by thefriedman / 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm / Australia / Love

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

by GiraffeLover / 01/11/2013 at 6:36am / Australia / Love

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

by Dimples / 01/03/2013 at 6:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

by ELparano / 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm / Canada / Transportation

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML

by meeks123 / 06/20/2012 at 1:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Miscellaneous

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

by anon / 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML

by billiams15 / 05/06/2012 at 5:57pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

by rolyat / 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy