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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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melibu

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melibu
  • Town/Country : Vancouver, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2082
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melibu : Sex FML's are the best yet!

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melibu's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

#14106944 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (9313) - you deserved it (15056)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML

#14105227 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (44242) - you deserved it (6774)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by swindstorm -

Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

#14086483 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (11201) - you deserved it (21146)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

#14007811 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (12497) - you deserved it (27172)

On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (23379) - you deserved it (7767)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend told me to Google how to last longer in bed. FML

#13867056 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (17812) - you deserved it (7474)

On 11/16/2010 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

#13823528 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (42784) - you deserved it (5966)

On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

#13782516 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (30035) - you deserved it (5123)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML

#13716117 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (7303) - you deserved it (21493)

On 11/04/2010 at 4:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. Shes on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699 (403)

I agree, your life sucks (48542) - you deserved it (6286)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

#13654098 (256)

I agree, your life sucks (26387) - you deserved it (19246)

On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)

Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML

#13641335 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (19721) - you deserved it (4507)

On 10/29/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML

#13610925 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (33562) - you deserved it (3315)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was watching a movie. The ending was sad and I started bawling my eyes out. My boyfriend sitting beside me kept looking back and forth between me and the TV, so I asked what he was doing. He replied with, 'I don't know which one is better to watch.' FML

#13376999 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (9788) - you deserved it (15751)

On 10/09/2010 at 10:36am - love - by Kiimmy (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML

#13324993 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (5724)

On 10/05/2010 at 12:47am - love - by June - United States (Georgia)