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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8182) - you deserved it (27181)
On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45026) - you deserved it (2069)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by dodgerkiss (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81984) - you deserved it (2948)
On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46244) - you deserved it (3875)
On 05/07/2009 at 8:39am - love - by TrulyYours (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43438) - you deserved it (3062)
On 05/07/2009 at 3:40am - misc - by mikesok988 (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43298) - you deserved it (7474)
On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52690) - you deserved it (21603)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was pissed off. I kicked a soccer ball into my wall, and it bounced back, hit my head and knocked me into the wall behind me. My head hurts like hell. Even inanimate objects hate me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12682) - you deserved it (43757)
On 04/29/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Cammy (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63847) - you deserved it (4346)
On 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by Kelavmeister (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85551) - you deserved it (3781)
On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83394) - you deserved it (10474)
On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55256) - you deserved it (1923)
On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was in a hurry to get to work. I pulled impatiently behind a long line of cars to make a right hand turn. I sat there for 5 minutes. Turns out there wasn't a line to make a right hand turn. I had been waiting behind a line of parked cars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8034) - you deserved it (49570)
On 04/09/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52588) - you deserved it (7822)
On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a feild sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test infront of all the students and parents. I blew. 06%. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17531) - you deserved it (70565)
On 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm - health - by schoolgrlstaci (woman) - United States (New York)
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