megank12

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megank12

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1712
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About megank12 : Hi. I'm Megan, and I like hockey, Mad Men, Leo Tolstoy, cats, history, and classic rock. I'm also kind of obsessed with 80s teen movies set in Chicago, and definitely obsessed with the Beatles.

megank12's page activity

Visits<b>britneygeorge06</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 10:50pm<b>Lanker</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:17pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 5:18pm<b>mollieo</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 9:08am<b>xDochx</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 5:16pm<b>sleeplessjimmy</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 11:08am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 5:06pm<b>malkavian_mad</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 4:12am<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:16pm<b>JoshArson</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 12:59pm<b>laurajbm</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 2:04am<b>supersavvy</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 9:13pm<b>l23VIVE</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 2:16am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 5:13pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 3:49pm<b>UnluckyGenius</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 5:05pm<b>GrosseVacheSalle</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 11:19am<b>fish99</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 10:01pm

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megank12's favorite FMLs

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

by fuckshitcockwaffle / 05/31/2013 at 10:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

by MsAnonymous17 / 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 12:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

by datgirl92 / 05/24/2013 at 10:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

by pixkalexi / 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2013 at 11:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

by violatedbuttcrack / 05/16/2013 at 6:24am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

by Brenden / 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

by failure as a parent / 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML

by o___O" / 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Miscellaneous