About meeps114 : Keepin' it classy.
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Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36300) - you deserved it (7752)
On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6535) - you deserved it (27823)
On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20176) - you deserved it (2910)
On 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by anonymous.. (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44924) - you deserved it (3125)
On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24812) - you deserved it (8361)
On 08/30/2010 at 3:55pm - misc - by Shelby (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldnt have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriends excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He isn't laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (2768)
On 08/24/2010 at 3:30am - love - by XxDiabolikalXx - Sent from mobile version
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38232) - you deserved it (10977)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11261) - you deserved it (41395)
On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I thought it'd be hot to have it off on the golf course once it was dark. Who would've thought that sprinklers start up once it's pitch dark. I got a lot wetter than I thought I would. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11056) - you deserved it (31958)
On 07/13/2010 at 4:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23929) - you deserved it (21395)
On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I saw a video of me from over the weekend, naked, pretending to be a duck. What the fuck happened that night? FML
I agree, your life sucks (14772) - you deserved it (40359)
On 05/25/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by laurenraeee - United States (Utah)
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (30756)
On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12450) - you deserved it (2162)
On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26855) - you deserved it (2467)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36002) - you deserved it (1423)
On 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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