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meeps114's favorite FMLs
by stolen / 04/11/2011 at 3:29pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 12:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad woke me up for the second time to get me ready for school. Wanting me to prove I was really awake, he made me sit up. As soon as he left my room, I dozed off and faceplanted my nightstand. FML
by Username / 04/04/2011 at 1:36pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I managed to convince the girl of my dreams to stop being so shy, and put herself out there to get her crush to make a move. It worked. And yet as it turns out, I'm not her crush after all. FML
by heartbroken / 03/29/2011 at 8:15pm / United States / Love
Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML
by hiker / 03/29/2011 at 3:00pm / United States / Money
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML
by Sue / 03/26/2011 at 11:41am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by caseyj / 03/25/2011 at 1:50am / United States (Kansas) / Animals
by Username / 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Kim / 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
by SpideyFace / 03/18/2011 at 9:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her tooth brush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
by Anonymous / 03/18/2011 at 5:25am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were… Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got… Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent…