meanie_monday

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meanie_monday

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5386
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About meanie_monday : I'm awesome :D

meanie_monday's page activity

Visits<b>draftskink</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 7:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 10:48am<b>AmberNowaki</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 11:38pm<b>kiki1705</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 5:13pm<b>EevieBear</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 2:35am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 1:11am<b>Nail7777</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 12:40am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 1:53pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 9:26am<b>Rockinroyaltyx3</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 11:59pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 8:55am<b>CallMeMask</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 7:29am<b>teeenu</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:43pm<b>aguynamednick</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:11pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:39pm<b>fireburnspeople</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:13pm<b>nana_star</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:06pm<b>kakabloom</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 1:16pm

Fucked!<b>AmberNowaki</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 5:38am<b>danictic</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:14am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:35pm

meanie_monday's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

meanie_monday's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2009 at 4:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML

by theman / 05/21/2009 at 4:49pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

by nana / 05/19/2009 at 10:04am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I took my mom out to a fancy restaurant, and spent close to $300 on her Mother's Day present. Later, my little brother drew her a card with crayons on pink construction paper. She cried. He is 20 years old. FML

by Jess-zee / 05/10/2009 at 4:42pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Kids

Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML

by jess / 04/30/2009 at 12:51am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

by hjgjh / 04/27/2009 at 2:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to go visit my grandma. While in her bathroom, the floss I was using cut my gum, I then proceded to make sounds of slight pain. My grandma was, at the same moment, walking by and said "Don't masturbate in side of my bathroom you sick teen!" Now my grandma thinks I am a pervert. FML

by bongoboy / 04/25/2009 at 3:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma and I were watching the Ranger's playoff game. As Henrik Lundqvist received a standing ovation from the crowd after blocking 38 shots, she says to me, "Check out his equipment!" My 80-year old grandma just commented on Henrik Lundqvist's package. FML

by anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 9:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with some disabled people at the day-centre where I work. We had the music blasting and were laughing and dancing around. My boss took me aside and said that it wasn't really appropriate for me to mock the clients by imitating their dancing. That's just how I dance. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 11:34pm / New Zealand / Work

Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML

by asdfghjkl / 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy